Vivil of Bam

You know that FedEx commercial where they say, "Wow, Ned (or Ted), you're ALWAYS wrong?" And then they 're-cap' and tell him that they don't get "French benefits," but they do get "fringe benefits?" We all have at least one specific word or phrase that we've been saying incorrectly ALL of our lives. If you're well educated, there has undoubtedly been a time--more than likely in high school or college--where you've been called out on your misuse or mispronunciation of that term. And usually, it's just a slight differentiation from the correct usage or pronunciation that associates you with that slightest bit of ignorance that you didn't ever think you'd have. For example, how many of you have ever said, or heard someone say, "He walks the straightened arrow." As I hope you've learned by now, the correct phrase is, "He walks the straight and narrow." Somebody sometime heard "straight and narrow" spoken quickly and smushed together, liked the phrase, then repeated it to someone else as "straightened arrow." And that person repeated that, and that person repeated that, and then it got to your parents, and you've heard it all your life.

Anyway, I think you get my point. And if anyone else can think of anymore examples of what I'm talking about, please post them. Meanwhile, I need to explain why the title of this post now makes sense...especially if you watch a lot of MTV.

I gave an interest inventory to my fifth graders on the first day of school. One of my boys said that his favorite TV show was "Vivil of Bam." Or, more correctly, "Viva La Bam." I totally understand his mistake, though, because I'm sure he's heard the title of the show more than he's read it. Even if kids are staring at the TV all day, it doesn't mean they're reading the titles or anything else on the screen. Not to mention the fact that he has probably never heard "Viva la fill in the blank" as a term meaning "Long live fill in the blank." He expects everything to be English, so he tries to make everything he writes or reads fit into the English rules. "Vivil" makes no sense to him. But "of" and "Bam" do. That's 2 out of 3 words that make sense to him when he says and writes it that way. The real title totally baffles him because neither "Viva" nor "la" make sense to him. He's only got a 1/3 success rate that way.

If you were a low-income fifth grader from Joanna, SC who had parents that didn't help you with your homework, read to you, or provide you with the simplest of necessities (let alone experiences to further your cultural awareness), what would you think the title of that show was?

And why does he have cable when he doesn't have shoes that fit?

And why doesn't he have a decent place to live? Why is he living in an old camper in his aunt's backyard when his mom can afford to go to North Carolina to get a tatoo?

Something to think about, huh?

Parents who care more about themselves than their children really irk me. But I'm stepping off of my soapbox now. I don't think I really even planned to climb on it when I started this post. So don't get me started on why my fifth grader shouldn't even be watching MTV or Vivil of Bam to start with...

It's late, I've got to get up early...I'm out for tonight.